Leticia: My secret smoke ritual

Hi, I’m Leticia and I’m 18 years old.  I hate smokers and their nasty cigarettes, but I’ve always been curious to know what it’s like.  Two weeks ago I got a lit cigarette from an ashtray and went to the toilet of a bar where my friends meet.  I played alone with that burning cigarette in my fingers, watching the smoke and putting it in my lips, watching the red glowing tip burning near my lips.  It gives an acid and nasty taste on my mouth.

Next day I did the same on the toilet, but I decided that it was time to try to inhale.  I was not able to do it and I was happy playing again with that stick burning near my lips.

It was the third day when a bit of nasty smoke went down into my throat, and I decided to make it flow into my lungs.  Doing that with little amounts of smoke and really slowly I got okay with that new feeling, but the cigarette was finished soon.  After an hour I was excited enough to try the experience again, and I got a couple of cigarettes from an ashtray and another that was burning.  Hidden behind the toilet’s door I let a bit of smoke slip into my lungs again, carefully and slowly.  As I was feeling okay, I increased the amount of smoke. The next day I was able to fully fill my lungs with nasty smoke and hold it inside for several seconds.  I was so excited to feel that explosion inside me, and my heart was beating fast.

This week I repeat daily my secret ritual one or two times per day, always on the same quiet toilet with a half empty packet of cigarettes that I bought days ago.  I always chain two or three cigarettes, trying to inhale deeper and longer.

I realize that the worse part of smoking is that my clothes and hands smell bad, and a nasty smokers breath comes from my lungs.  For the rest I feel okay, but I’ll not do this forever, indeed I can stop smoking when I want.  In another way I wonder what it would feel like to smoke in public. This weekend I’ll try it.

On this video you’ll watch my toilet ritual, chain smoking 3 cigarettes and always inhaling the smoke deep inside me.  Sorry about my coughs.
I hope you enjoy it. With love. Leticia.